A story...

Got this from my pal,


this is a GUY TALKING...

ITS 7TH GRADE...


I stared at the girl next to me...She was my so called 'best friend'... I
stared at her... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she
didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me
and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed
them to her... She said 'thanks'.... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I
wanted to tell her... I want her to know that I don't want to be 'just
friends'... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know
why...



IT'S JUNIOR YEAR...


My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling
on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come
over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her
on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2
hours... A Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go
to sleep... She looked at me.. Said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the
cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to
be 'just friends'... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't
know why...

IT'S SENIOR YEAR...


The day before prom.... She walked to my locker... 'My date is sick' she
said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th
grade... We made a promise that if neither of us had dates... We'd go
together just as 'best friends'... And so we did...




IT'S PROM NIGHT...


After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I
stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she
doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said 'I had the
best time... Thanks!'... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to
tell her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be 'just friends'... I
love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...
IT'S GRADUATION DAY...


A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could
blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body.... Floated
like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine...
But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone
went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged
her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said 'you're my best
friend'... 'Thanks!'... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell
her.. I wanted her to know that I wanted to be more than 'just friends'... I
love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...

IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER....


Now I sit in the pews of the church.... A church that she is getting married
in now... I watched her say 'I do' an drive off to her new life... Married
to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like
that... And I knew it... But before she drove away... She came to me and
said 'You came!... Thanks!'.... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to
tell her... I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be 'just friends'... I
love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...



YEARS PASSED...


I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'... At
the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school
years... This is what it said... 'I stare at him... Wishing he was mine...
But he doesn't notice me like that.... And I know it... I wanted to tell
him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be 'just friends'... I
love him but I'm just too shy.... And I don't know why... I wish he would
tell me he loved me'... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I
cried....

Some tales...

This is the story of someone...Let's call him Mr. M

Well Mr M starts his life as a normal person. He even grown up as nice and raised in a good family. Unlike most people, he has a bad experiences of being betray from a group of people who called themselves as FRIENDS and BROTHERS when he was 18. The experiences that he'll never forget when he had to faced the ugly side of life. Mr M is just a naive person and never expects that life is so DARK during that time. There no one offered help to him during difficults time, he go through it by himself with the scar that he'll never forget.

A year after, he made a bow never to trust, let anyone to take advantage of him and he say "let's make it fair and square shall we". It's hard when we have to make such bow to ourself but he did it. Along that, he learns some dark secret of life, he starts to outsources even out of those of his age. Revenge is sweets but he never thought of doing so with what he have.

He accepts that life is unfair because it's made so for us to learn our weakness. When we learn, we try to fix it along the way. There is nothing can't be fix except a death person. He starts to learn that his expertise can be in good use for him supports his life. Freelance for hired. He starts it from the simplest of job fixing a death computer to multitasking complex assignment. Day by day he improve himself by aquiring new knowledge and broaden his perspective about the world himself. There are more needs for people like him and along the way he finds new friends who share the same view and hunger to get what they desire the most. He can manipulate and control situations in anyway he can as he become one of the most powerful person doing the jobs at the back without anyone knows him except his collegues and partners(friends).

After completing his studies from university, his business network growth rapidly within a small area and now it comprehend almost the whole country. He has many associates around the country who is willing to help him and cooperate in any business. Life is like a piece of cake for him. At that age he is able to get anything he wants but wealth never blinds him, he offered helps to those in needs because he understand how difficults life could be without anyone offering a helping hands. For him, anyone joys is his joys even to a stranger. Somehow he never told his family about such business.

One day a person asks him to keep something that is considered as highly confidential and dangerous in the country. He decided to accept the assignments and kept his words. As for the confidential informations, he keep safe it until the time arise. Nobody knows about it, nobody knows that he is holding it, and nobody knows where and who kept it as the person who gift the informations cease in a car accident. That informations can leads to a serious problems if it falls to the wrong hands.

Years past, Mr M live his life in simplicity without anyone notice about his real life even his close neighbour. When they asked him what he is doing for a living he answered: working for the boss. Yes he is working for PEOPLE part time while working at a company to prevent his real life known to those near him. He didn't want unwanted attentions about his real life from others.

One thing that differs him from normal person is that he never stop working to earn his life. He knows that nothing goes easy in life without hardwork. Never did he knows that such lifestyle would affects his life forever until one day. He felt that his body going against his will to work, so decided to take abreak for a moments. Few days past, his will is deterioriting even his his health. He started to get migrain and pain all on certain parts of his body. Unwilling to lose hope he met a specialist with a help from an old friend...

The result disappoint him the most. He suffered from an excessive usage of his body. It's matter of time for him... For weeks he thought and live in recluse from his friends accompanied by his love one. It's so ironic for him when he chase his own dreams he neglected 'something' precious in his life. There is nothing to regret for him as he has done anything he could do in his life except having a normal life just like ordinary people.

Few months later he decided to call it a day. He passed down his business and all his properties to a trusted friend of his and leave. He left behind most of it so that he wouldn't bother more about it. He wants to walk around like a normal person without anyone drive him along, he wants to eat what normal people eat, he want to feel how normal person faces their problem in everyday life and enjoying the beauty of life with his own fragile life... he ensure that nothing left unfinished and he able to return home without anyone knows that he is leaving.

Arriving to his hometown, he starts to appreciates how great it's to be a normal person. No matter how hard it's, how painful the life offered to him and how small he is when facing those who is influential and powerful as he was before, and proud with their status, he is thankful with the time given he is able to do what he wished and missed the most; his family and friends. At least, this is what he can do...

To be continued...

Quotes of the day...

To the greats who are amongst us bravely and humbly proved that leadership is a choice not a position.

Stephen R. Covey

How are you?

The scenes from the past...

B : Hi, whatcha doing there?

G : Morning, I'm preparing something to eat.

B : Sounds delicious! Can't wait to have a taste.

G : Hopefully. Where have you been this morning?

B : Wandering around. Just can't stand hearing you 'singing'(snoring) in the morning. Hehe..

G : Hey, wasn't it you who 'sing' all night?

B : Nah, that wouldn't be me. You can asked our neighbor. Hey wasn't he the one who taught you? I heard he 'sing' exactly like you.

G : Yeah right. And he taught me how make an airplane.

B : I believe that would be me. You probably don't remember because you're too busy 'singing'.

No more secret?

That title is crystal clear to all of you who read it. "Secret is m life" is one of my favourite quotes from Prestige movie starred by Hugh Jackman. That explains how deep that quotes means to me. Along my journey I stumble upon various secret and it's such a burden to me as the guilts of keeping it from others. It had chained me since I was able to keep it from others and I'll not explains it here. Have you ever thought of reveal all the secrets that you had kept in unbreakable vault of yours? Not even single person nor your family knows it? There are times when you want to tell someone your heart told you not to. It's the guilts that had haunted me all this time. I don't want to die keeping others own secret but I hold myself from telling others. I'm a symbollic person, I do things with reasons not just luck or coincidence. I had kept myself away from those who seek for it and what reliefs me the most is nobody know where and who kept it. That makes things easy for me.

It's fun when it's still a secret because it's no longer a secret once somebody knows about it. Not even a death threat can makes me to spill it out because once it's a secret it's always will be a secret. Recently I had deep thought to myself, there are things which not to be hold for a certain time as I don't have much time......................

I want to enjoy my life without bothering myself about the secret because it would attracts a lot of unwanted interest from others. So I decided it's about time to pass it to someone whom I believe would holds it and he would do what he should do with it. I don't want to have any relation with it anymore.

Have you ever kept a secret and bow not to reveal it? The secret among all the secret you believe the most unknown to others. Even one that have potential to cause liabilities to you and others around you?

Some facts about kaiserstan?

Accident

I have a scar on my forehead due to motorcycle accident when I was a little kid.

Minor car accident with a lorry in peninsular.




Places

I've never been to Terengganu, Kelantan, Melaka, Pahang, Johor and Sabah. Elsewhere is my seconds home.




Dream

Hiking to the top of Mount Kinabalu, going to England watching my favourite team Manchester United at Old Trafford playing against their rivals and have someone to share it with.




Weight?

Skinny 56kg dude until matriculation days.

Raised the mass to 78kg till 2009. (I love the foods at peninsular and I just can't stop loving it)

Now I'm about 60kg and it's keeping on declining. (Forget all the tasty foods; I need to lengthen my lifespan)




Foods...

I love muffin!

I eat anything till 2008.

Now, almost a vegetarian with a little bit of Omega 3 in my menu. Sometime I just eat anything.




Phisical...

Small and short kid during primary till secondary school.

Now, I never thought I was that small back then.

I have a flexible body probably bones.




Sleep?

I only sleep at night.

During matriculation days it was 7 hours. (I become a zombie if I slept less than that )

During university days it was 6 hours. (I'll throw up early in the morning if I slept less than that)

When I was working it was around 5 hours. (Less than that, I'm still working because I love MONEY hehe )

Now it is around 3 hours and sometime lesser than that. (Nothing happens to me, it just feels like 7 hours to me, to conclude it, 7 hours of sleep equals 2 days of non-stop sleep to me)




Near death experiences?

3 times and I never afraid of it. ( Two of it was in peninsular)

One was when I take illegal cab driven by a drunken-swearing policeman. I managed to persuade him to accept RM2 for the fare instead of RM5.

Almost drown to death while trying to save my younger brother during picnic. Sadly, I'm don't know how to swim. Thankfully my father and uncle saved both of us.

Rain almost killed me when I was in Cheras for two days and I forgot to bring my medicine. My wills to survive gave me the strength to go to the nearby store which is located 2km away from my home.




Hobbies?

Collecting watches, plain color without pattern caps, computer parts, cool software, petting creatures, collecting Nike shoes, collecting funny videos, downloading movies, fishing, eating muffins!!




Things I do when I'm free...

Eating muffins, hanging out with old friends, tennis, futsal / street soccer, basketball (my favourite's), surfing on web, killing viruses and spywares (sometime play with it), making videos using movie maker, looking for answer and general knowledge, preparing daily lesson plan, bowling, writing this blog for you to read and writing reports on my official duty diary.




The real me...

Realist idealist, enthusiastic, holds on Machiavelli's principles, dynamic, serious when it comes to work, help others in need ( I understand how hard it was when I'm in trouble without anyone to offer helping hands; I learnt to solve it by myself ) and love to cheer people while annoying them...

My AURA changes the people and most of them live a good life.

AURA is the acronym of my name.

High endurance and patient while facing heavy pressure. ( I would end up in mental facilities by now if I don't )

Obsessed with numbers and MONEY!

I'm Kaiser and I'm Stan and we're the same.




My Work...

Details but simple. (I can make 10 pages assignment into 5 pages I just hate making craps in my works only the relevant)

Never say no until it's done.

I love any works I do because I love the MONEY
I got from it...




The mystery of kaiserstan...

I know how old I'm and there're only 10 persons who really knows my real age actually. (Time do ticks fast)




My specialties...

Want me to fix your computer?

Do you have problems? Let me kills it.

Creating wild conspiracy theories.

Sabotage for some purpose.

Creating scenes to save others.

Safe guard the secrets and probably die of keeping it.

I can learn anything quickly in a short time. Teach me and I can do the same within the time given.




My Completed Mission

Saving the company from complacency.

Getting RM10k in an almost impossible task for the company.

Standby to be the black sheep to save the boss.

Assignments?







Embarrassing moments...

When I missed the flight from Alor Setar to KL. Actually I arrived at the airport 2 hours before departure. I missed the flight because I got carried away talking to someone (which I don't know) who sent his daughter to the airport. My over-friendly approach cost me another ticket and a night stay at the airport. The next day I took an early flight and a week later got a call and my last salary negotiation for my job at Kajang was accepted.

Sent the wrong text message to someone else. (Thankfully they don't know the details of it)




My Business...

Ah Long (Loan Shark) since secondary school.

Football gambler until 2000. ( I'm so good that I won so many bets)

Freelancer for hired.

Import export. (Peninsular)

My properties. (Peninsular)




Crazy thing I do...

Starting the frenzy Merdeka Celebration 2001 at Kolej Chermai Jaya by throwing a plastic full of water outside which causing the police patrolling near the college.

Joining the story telling contest at the institute without any preparation. I performed it spontaneously without any script prepared.

Driving the car without stepping on the brake while turning through the curve downhill. It's not a drift though.




My resolute...

I never regret the decisions made and never look back, I just move on.

I keep on fighting!!

Love ?Part 3 Trilogy

After a while thinking about the continuation of the boy and his so-called life adventure… This is the continuation of the Love? Trilogy and hopefully it will come to an end. 3 years (again) after leaving his love behind (he has to) to start a new life, the boy served the state government at his homeland and the story started here in his life’s diary. This is not a spoiler but the rest of the story and hopefully the “?” will never present on this chapter again anymore. This is one of the most difficult stories to be told.


Life is full of hopes and commitments (as usual) for the boy at his homeland, it seems that he had forgot the past which burden him all this time. There was an attempt made by him to get things right when he flew back sometime to peninsular to search for the girl. Sadly, his search was in vain, he was told that the girl has move back to her homeland and quit the jobs few months recently. His feeling was mixed with disappointment and relief, between regretted and released from the guilt that binds him more than 2 years ago. Should he met the girl again and she forgive the boy for his mistakes, probably the boy decided to stay with her like before no matter what the consequences might came from that decisions. His old employer still insists him to work for the company if the boy decided to stay at peninsular with promising salary which can drive him to stay. Probably God has HIS plans for the boy. Money is nothing compare to what he loved the most.


Returned from his so-called vacation (peninsular), the boy continues to serve his homeland and hopes to build a new life to achieve his dream. This is where the story begins.


It all started when the boy met a girl while paying his streamyx bill at the telekom. She seems to have problems (confused) with the amount needed to pay for the bill (statement) and asked the boy (since there’s nobody around). Coincidently, the boy had worked as an internet provider installer before and familiar with it, able to help the girl and explains why she has to pay such amount enthusiastically. Started from simple conversation which leads to frequent texting (sms) and meets up at the town (date as a friend). Both of them have different about their place to eat, favorite foods, sports, books, movies, music and their passion. These differences are the chemistry that bonds both of them. They exchange ideas about it and experience other’s own view. They exchange books, favorite place to eat between themselves just to have a new view; listen to each other owns favorite mp3, the boy even tried tennis a sport which is quite awkward for him and the so on... One thing in common, they share the same dream “live their life to the fullest as someone who change others e.g. teacher”


Then one day, the girl surprises the boy when she bravely told the boy about her feeling towards the boy. The boy was shocked and hesitated (because he just want her to be his friend) and afraid that things might not going well like his past relationships (even though they tolerate to each other differences) but when he dive deep inside his heart to search for an answer whether he has feeling towards her. Indeed, she is... and he accepted her as his………………….. (Fill in the intentionally blanked dot).


Since then, life was so cheerful and interesting for the boy. Day by day the boy opened a bit of the space in his heart for her to paint his heart. They spend much of their time together and talked about anything they could possibly think of. They exchanged present and chocolate (and muffin also) during their birthday. Those days were full of blessing. She is probably the best gift he ever received who was like a little boy who received gift from GOD during his birthday. Normally in a relationship there is always conflicts and misunderstanding since they have different background and view, sometime even quarrel about small matters (never last long) but that didn’t affect their feeling toward each other. Both of them tolerated to each other despite the differences. When problems rise between them, they faced it and solved it together and the boy lost for words when the girl always there for him in time of need. He learned a lot from the girl.


When the KPLI application for January 2009 intake opened, both of them applied it together (the girl also a graduate) in hopes that they can be a teacher someday and live their life together as teachers. Unfortunately, things didn’t go their way. Like a gift from GOD that’s always full of the unexpected. Two separate news received by both of them with the bad and the good news. The good news is the boy successfully passed his interview and offered to join KPLI at teacher educational institute meanwhile the girl, didn’t. She was so disappointed since she applied it more than 4 times. The boy tried to comfort the girl that there would be another intake next year and asked her not to give up hopes. During the last week before the boy departs to the institute, the boy never thought that it was so hard for him to live without seeing her even for a moments. He decided to spend the rest of the week with her rather than at home and wished that time would just stop for both of them...


During the management week at the institute the boy missed the girl so much that he gives her a call every night until one day, (last day before Chinese New Year one week break) when she tried to call him during the activity which is odd since the boy had told her not to call during that period because he might be busy with the activities held by the institute. He usually left his handphone in silent mode during the activity. The boy noticed frequents missed call on his handphone after the activity finished late night, the boy tried to call back only to be answered by her voicemail. The next day the boy was so happy that he’ll met the girl at his hometown. One thing that worried him since yesterday; he keeps on getting the voicemail whenever he tried to call the girl which is unusual to him. Arrived at his hometown, the boy tried to look for the girl around the town where they always spend their day... but she wasn’t there. He went to the girl’s house to see whether she was at home. Once again he was disappointed when he found out that there was nobody around. A week had past, there is still no news from the girl... the boy had to pack all his belonging before departing to the institute a day before. He packed it with a heavy reluctant heart. As if there is no reason for him to return to the institute...He was in despair...


Finally, the day has come for him to return back to the institute. His father sent him to the wharf. When he enters the express boat’s door, he met his old classmate since primary school inside. Coincidently, he was the girl’s cousin. The boy asked about the girl and he said: “Yes I know about that. Her family had moved to _________. His father was transferred there for a multi-national company.” The boy’s heart sank when he heard that news. “She tried to call you that night to tell you about it, unfortunately the next day she lost her handphone at the town.” No wonder the boy thought to himself...but...why now?


Few weeks later at the institute, the boy received a long text message on his handphone from an foreign unknown number... it say:

“It’s such a heavy heart for me to part from you ...but I had to follow dad and mom to (oversea)...for your information dad got promoted into Senior Operation Executive but he’ll be here for a long term. I don’t know when we’ll meet again... That night I tried to tell you but you didn’t answer it until I realized my hp ran out of battery, sorry I forgot to replace it with the new one... but I know that you’re busy with the orientation thingy. The next day my hp was lost, I don’t know where I misplaced it after having my breakfast with mom...

I can’t see that whether we can continue this relationship anymore... I know that it’s difficult for me to make this decision... You’re right we should be friend in the first place...

Sorry, it was me who started to fall in love with you and asked you accept me. Even hesitated, you accepted me into your life and give me the chances to know the real you. I know it’s hard for you to accept it even for me. Thank you for accepting me as a special person in your heart. Hope that you’ll meet a better person and become a good teacher. Nice person always get a happy ending and never gave up, just like you always said... I’ll always remember that budak baik”

Calmly, the boy answered it in short message:

“Thank you for painting my heart. I’ll be okay don’t worry. Take care and never give up though gonna’ miss you.”

That was the last sms he ever sent to her. Probably the boy accepted the facts that there is something in life that comes and goes whether we realized it or not because it’s only a matter of time for us to admit it and the boy accepts that luck is not in his side once more, life has to move on for the boy and he has to learn how to play tennis next semester break. Somehow he even questions himself whether he deserves all this because of his past... time is running out for the boy as he counts... Anyway I don’t really like to tell a sad ending... that’s all for now.


Spoiler:

· OST for this story is Tak Bisakah by Peterpan

· Meanwhile for part 2 is Unintended by Muse

· The girl in part 3 is referred as “the one who challenge” in the lyric at the Unintended song.