tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38701499388731372142024-02-08T18:11:01.379+08:00Insan Yang BaikSomething I want to share and talk about...Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-66344034480723624812010-05-14T15:41:00.001+08:002010-05-14T15:41:21.529+08:00Love yourselfI'm quite busy lately with my job. It takes me away for a while from thinking about my next destination. There are lots of things to do before the day. I make my own list. Hoping I can make it in time because after that I don't believe it's necessary for me pursue the list nor meeting it. Gosh, the list is so pack and complex at the same time. <br /><br />Figuring what is next to come eagering me to move on. Guess life is not that easy after all. Life is not that perfect when we haven't got its meaning. It's up to us dechipering all of its meaning.<br /><br />For some my life is easy as it sounds. The path is so smooth. As for me, I can't justify the value of it. I tend to harmonize it to suit my evey need. I love what going on with my life, every challenge and trouble I face everyday. Without it, life wasn't that interesting anymore. I face every difficulty without ignoring myself. I tried my luck even though in the end things didn't go my way. I get that satisfaction rather than holding myself and quiting with excuses. Just say whatever you want but I believe life must be like that. With challenge and barrier, man will never set foot on the moon. Trust yourself when others didn't. Don't think that life is simple as yourself. Simple life is good when things happen smoothly. It would be simple as it if life full of 'surprises'. To simplify my life, I get everything done in front of others.<br /><br />There are time when had to let life drifts us along and fight from being drown. There are time when we have to hold on to something when we are not strong enough to fight. As for me, I have to let go everything I have just for another chance in life. I know I can't bear the burdens on my shoulders alone.<br /><br />Never bother about others when they never appreciate what they're having. Love yourself. It doesn't mean that you're being selffish. When you love yourself, you love those who are around you because you yourself need to love and being cared. That's what 'love yourself' means.Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-86119775581846584422010-05-11T20:02:00.001+08:002010-05-11T20:02:36.560+08:00Summon me...Whenever you need me.... I'm always here for you<br />Keep me close to you, I wish not to lose you... Deep in my heart, there is a sorrow.. Keeping me away though my smiles always spurs out of nowhere...<br />I always have this fear... Fear of losing myself.. Losing all these wonderful precious memories....<br />I'm helpless, hopeless...<br />I just let the life leads me wherever it go...<br />If your ever know me, rememmber me...<br />Don't ever forget me though I never know you...<br />Now I'm here reminiscing my past, the glory of the prouds, the glory of the forgottens..Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-69057340813386231072010-05-08T21:08:00.001+08:002010-05-08T21:53:16.238+08:00Probably my last callIt has been a while I haven't update anything in this blog. This blog is like a journey's diary. <br /><br />I had made the biggest decision in my life. I'm the person who lives in the past. The get over with it, I need to leave it behind. Though I'm going to miss all the moments treassured.<br /><br />There is no use to keep it. Recent event trigger my conscience to do so. I'm greatly stunned and devastated by such 'action' done by those whom my heart cared the most.<br /><br />I might be weird for me being blurred by that time. I hope everyone will understand it. It's about time I 'give' what's inside. All the memories... What a life I had been through, I can make last call...<br /><br />Few weeks left before the moments arrive in front of my eyes. Guess I'm not that lucku. I can accept that. I can't say sorry nor thank you. Just let life be like that. Perfect in its way; fragile and unique.<br /><br />I have a new journey after that. Journey of life. Can't describe it yet. Hope the treatment is not that harsh. Same as always, the same with new perspectives. Gosh, I can't imagined it as I count the days left...<br /><br />God I'm thankful for all your bless. Thanks for the great sorely imperfect life...<br /><br />Show me the paths cause I might get lost along the way. I'm want to do everything I possibly could in life. Achieved what most people desire to.<br /><br />I hope this is the best decision I ever made, for good and rest of it.Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-57502960191894149692010-02-16T12:35:00.004+08:002010-02-16T13:54:21.665+08:00The true Machiavellian<div style="text-align: justify;">This is based on true story of a Machiavellian, someone who strongly held this principal in this modern era. The founder of this principal is <b>Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli</b> which holds on "The end justify the end". The story described as below:<br /><br /></div>M: "I found the book about Machiavellian when I was an undergraduate. The book was quite interesting which has the same ideology with me; the end result is important. I spent a week reading to understand every content of the book. I realize that in order to maintain the stability of a nation, the power of influence and persuasion indeed the most important elements in order to execute anything which seems to be 'wrong' and make it look 'right' in public's eyes. No matter what methods(means) use to reach your objectives(end), it should be seen 'right' to the majority."<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />M: "When I start my career at local company, I use this ideology in good use; manipulating others own needs, weakness and exploiting it(emotion) to make them 'obey' every orders from me. Within months, I gain influence within the company and trust from the leaders. Every methods or ways that I do never being turn down. The phrase "It's time for you to do me a favor" is the name of the order."<br /><br /></div>M: "There was a man from a customer company seek help from me and he was in deep trouble. I help him without hesitate and calm him down saying "don't worry my friend, trust me, everything is going to be fine" and true, everything was going smoothly for him and ME. Whenever I in need of help involving his field as an executioner and decision maker, "help me like the way I help you before" and he obey it. And that's how I GAIN him and so with everyone. Make them believe us, and put them as 'dummy' in my plan. Comfort them whenever they need it, make them happy(cheer them up) and never let them felt small. That's why, nobody tries to go against my order even though they didn't like it. I terminate those who can pose threat on my 'regime', sabotage their prestige and take away their credit(make them look bad) and playing mind games with them(make friends)."<br /><br />M: "I see that human needs and emotion easily spotted once you gained their trust. The trust they hold for the rest of their life. Make them felt like family, they wanted to be acknowledge, loved and cared. Once they got that, carefully 'inject' your plan slowly because your objective means the most. Never ever felt pity on them and never let your emotion takes control of everything. That is what true Machiavellist really was."<br /><br />M: "I started to gain influence and support from every areas of people and I designed a plan that will changed the company atmosphere entirely. I gain trust and support from the executives and leaders and easily climbed the management ladder but I try not to push myself up so quickly. I try to avoid attention from certain 'people' "<br /><br />M: "Yes, it was so silent, nobody expect your intent and everything that was done by you was 'fantastic' and they believe that is was the right thing to do."<br /><br />M: "Until someday I decide to withdraw myself from this business, I started to felt bored with what I had done. I started to think about the people, their needs and cared about them. I lose sight on my objectives after reading a "book" which I can't described by words. Every content of it was so TRUE and PURE. Probably in time, I'll tell you about it. The book was about HOPE and FAITH that every person who in need of it(or lost)."<br /><br />When did the last time you practice this ideology?<br /><br />M: "Which one? Machiavellian? Not long ago."<br /><br />Why did you do it?<br /><br />M: "Well, even though I had changed and left it for good, something moves me to do it again. Actually I'm proud to be a Machiavellian. Let's call it the truth of all truth"<br /><br />You mean about what you had told me just now? Is there any truth behind it?<br /><br />M: "Yes. It would shocked lots of people once they know it. What I had planned so smoothly just to get my objectives. I was so sweet when it happens according to plan and I had just succeed it!"<br /><br />M: "It was this subject that I had targeted that interest me during that time. I embraced anything possible in order to get close to the subject. I follow whatever 'it' want, look for whatever 'it' needs and absorb whatever the problems. By time, I able to 'get' what I want. Time by time, I make 'it' felt safe and follow anything I desire. I didn't aim high to avoid liability towards me. What a sinister plan isn't it? Well that's my specialties. When the time has come and things happen according to my well designed plan, I created possible scenes in order to get the 'process' flows smoothly according to my plan without the need to feel guilty. Now the subject live without knowing the true story behind it. I had accomplished my objectives. It's kind of fun you know, playing around without being blamed. That's all. <span style="font-weight: bold;">To get truth of all truth 'you', 'it', 'they', 'them' needs to meet me to know the truth, I won't reveal it publicly. Come to me to know the truth</span>. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Prepared to be shocked about the truth. </span>Man, people going to kill me after they found out the truth haha...it's up to them to know the truth"<br /><br />That's look really ...... I can't described it in words. Well thanks for sharing Mr Machiavelli.<br /><br />M: "Indeed. You're welcome."<br /><br />Now that was the true story from a person who once hold strongly on this ideology. Everyone has desire to be what they want, it's only our way and method of reaching our goal is important not the result. Truth of all truth? Hmm I wonder what does he means by that. Did he 'planned' all this? Better try not to think about this. it's so twisted.kaiserstanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13709030854903172746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-36707971471636492952010-02-15T20:51:00.002+08:002010-02-15T20:58:11.253+08:00Cinta 18cm<div style="text-align: justify;">Hari-hari berlalu begitu indah bagiku kerana di masa kesusahan dan gembiraku dia senantiasa bersamaku. Aku meletakkan kepercayaan kepadanya dengan sepenuh hati walaupun beza antara kami berdua hanyalah 18cm. Hidup begitu indah di awal permulaannya tiada yang cacat celanya dan aku merasakan hidup begitu bermakna.<br /><br />Tanpa ku sedari, hujan turun di tengahari...kepercayaan yang ku letakkan telah dikhianati...namun aku redha kerana ia bukan hak aku...<br /><br />Seorang kawan pernah berkata "tiada maknanya mencintai orang yang tidak mencintai kita apa seadanya" lalu aku mengambil keputusan untuk menamatkan 'cerita' itu tanpa membiarkan ia berlanjutan sekaligus menghancurkan hati yang telah sedia remuk...aku bukan buah catur sesuka hati menunggu untuk dipilih...<br /><br />Remuk kerana apa yang aku usahakan, apa yang ku rancangkan 'mati' di tengah jalan...tiada lagi "10 langkah di hadapan" kerana "langkah itu telah terhenti"<br /><br />Bila kepentingan diri menguasai maka keluarlah alasan demi alasan untuk mempertahankan diri, malangnya bagi ku itu bukan alasan tapi itu adalah 'fitrah' untuk menyenangkan diriku ini. Yang terbaik tapi bukan pilihan yang terbaik jadi apakah alasannya? Itu menyebabkan diri terasa bodoh. Jika itu 'alasannya' mengapa memberi 'peluang'?<br /><br />18cm walaupun tidak besar bezanya tapi itulah 'beza' yang diungkapkan untuk mematikannya...Simbolik<span style="font-style: italic;"> itulah itu</span> (bak kata orang Sabah)<br /><br />Kini hidup diteruskan untuk suatu destinasi...Kawan? Sentiasa bersamaku, tidak tahulah 'kawan' tu, mungkin aku lali dengan hidup ini...bosan? mungkin tidak...cuma ku khuatir masa...masa telah banyak mengubah...sebulan sudah cukup untuk mengubah hati manusia tapi aku masih seperti dulu cuma sebahagian dari diriku mula hilang...I'm still the same person then who has changed?<br /><br />Hanya kerana 18cm aku terseksa...rakan-rakan ku kecewa..mengapa 18cm? Tapi <span style="font-style: italic;">in the end of the day</span>, pasti kata-kata "orang-orang yang teraniaya pasti...."<br /><br />I'm happy being freed from 'this' chain and God shows me before it's too late and shows who she really was..Thanks God for revealing it earlier before I'm disappointed, if it weren't because of You, I wouldn't know who she really was and you tell me what was 18cm really is. God, you saved me. I put my TRUST on you because it's hard for me to trust others even they ask for it.<br /><br />My advice:<br /><br />Careful when someone says that they love you, probably they are so desperate in love and you might end as loneliness substitute for them. Love someone who really loves you, you can see that in his/her eye and wills'.<br /><br />Once you noticed that they act differently ask them for the truth. End it before it gets painful for you to accept. My mistakes; I never care to notice her behaviors which is different than the one I saw before. I noticed it but I thought she was in blue so I try my best to cheer her out. At least I'm better off without her.<br /></div>kaiserstanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13709030854903172746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-31720964295328244242009-09-21T23:56:00.001+08:002009-09-21T23:58:08.719+08:00A story...<span xmlns=""><p><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);font-family:Tahoma;font-size:18;" ><strong>Got this from my pal,</strong></span><br /><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:18;" ><strong><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);"><br /><br />this is a GUY TALKING...<br /><br />ITS 7TH GRADE...<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">I stared at the girl next to me...She was my so called 'best friend'... I<br />stared at her... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she<br />didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me<br />and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed<br />them to her... She said 'thanks'.... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I<br />wanted to tell her... I want her to know that I don't want to be 'just<br />friends'... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know<br />why...<br /></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);">IT'S JUNIOR YEAR...</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling<br />on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come<br />over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her<br />on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2<br />hours... A Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go<br />to sleep... She looked at me.. Said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the<br />cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to<br />be 'just friends'... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't<br />know why...<br /></span><br /> </strong></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:18;" ><strong><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);">IT'S SENIOR YEAR...</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">The day before prom.... She walked to my locker... 'My date is sick' she<br />said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th<br />grade... We made a promise that if neither of us had dates... We'd go<br />together just as 'best friends'... And so we did...</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);">IT'S PROM NIGHT...</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I<br />stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she<br />doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said 'I had the<br />best time... Thanks!'... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to<br />tell her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be 'just friends'... I<br />love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);">IT'S GRADUATION DAY...</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could<br />blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body.... Floated<br />like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine...<br />But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone<br />went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged<br />her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said 'you're my best<br />friend'... 'Thanks!'... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell<br />her.. I wanted her to know that I wanted to be more than 'just friends'... I<br />love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...</span><br /><br /><br /> </strong></span></p><p><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:18;" ><strong><br /><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);">IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER....<br /><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">Now I sit in the pews of the church.... A church that she is getting married<br />in now... I watched her say 'I do' an drive off to her new life... Married<br />to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like<br />that... And I knew it... But before she drove away... She came to me and<br />said 'You came!... Thanks!'.... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to<br />tell her... I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be 'just friends'... I<br />love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...<br /></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(54, 96, 146);">YEARS PASSED...<br /></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(112, 48, 160);">I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'... At<br />the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school<br />years... This is what it said... 'I stare at him... Wishing he was mine...<br />But he doesn't notice me like that.... And I know it... I wanted to tell<br />him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be 'just friends'... I<br />love him but I'm just too shy.... And I don't know why... I wish he would<br />tell me he loved me'... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I<br />cried....</span></strong></span><br /> </p></span>kaiserstanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13709030854903172746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-7709799627673258172009-08-08T01:06:00.005+08:002010-05-08T21:26:42.046+08:00Some tales...<p align="justify">This is the story of someone...Let's call him Mr. M</p><p align="justify">Well Mr M starts his life as a normal person. He even grown up as nice and raised in a good family. Unlike most people, he has a bad experiences of being betray from a group of people who called themselves as FRIENDS and BROTHERS when he was 18. The experiences that he'll never forget when he had to faced the ugly side of life. Mr M is just a naive person and never expects that life is so DARK during that time. There no one offered help to him during difficults time, he go through it by himself with the scar that he'll never forget. </p><p align="justify">A year after, he made a bow never to trust, let anyone to take advantage of him and he say "let's make it fair and square shall we". It's hard when we have to make such bow to ourself but he did it. Along that, he learns some dark secret of life, he starts to outsources even out of those of his age. Revenge is sweets but he never thought of doing so with what he have.</p><p align="justify">He accepts that life is unfair because it's made so for us to learn our weakness. When we learn, we try to fix it along the way. There is nothing can't be fix except a death person. He starts to learn that his expertise can be in good use for him supports his life. Freelance for hired. He starts it from the simplest of job fixing a death computer to multitasking complex assignment. Day by day he improve himself by aquiring new knowledge and broaden his perspective about the world himself. There are more needs for people like him and along the way he finds new friends who share the same view and hunger to get what they desire the most. He can manipulate and control situations in anyway he can as he become one of the most powerful person doing the jobs at the back without anyone knows him except his collegues and partners(friends). </p><p align="justify">After completing his studies from university, his business network growth rapidly within a small area and now it comprehend almost the whole country. He has many associates around the country who is willing to help him and cooperate in any business. Life is like a piece of cake for him. At that age he is able to get anything he wants but wealth never blinds him, he offered helps to those in needs because he understand how difficults life could be without anyone offering a helping hands. For him, anyone joys is his joys even to a stranger. Somehow he never told his family about such business.</p><p align="justify">One day a person asks him to keep something that is considered as highly confidential and dangerous in the country. He decided to accept the assignments and kept his words. As for the confidential informations, he keep safe it until the time arise. Nobody knows about it, nobody knows that he is holding it, and nobody knows where and who kept it as the person who gift the informations cease in a car accident. That informations can leads to a serious problems if it falls to the wrong hands. </p><p align="justify">Years past, Mr M live his life in simplicity without anyone notice about his real life even his close neighbour. When they asked him what he is doing for a living he answered: working for the boss. Yes he is working for PEOPLE part time while working at a company to prevent his real life known to those near him. He didn't want unwanted attentions about his real life from others. </p><p align="justify">One thing that differs him from normal person is that he never stop working to earn his life. He knows that nothing goes easy in life without hardwork. Never did he knows that such lifestyle would affects his life forever until one day. He felt that his body going against his will to work, so decided to take abreak for a moments. Few days past, his will is deterioriting even his his health. He started to get migrain and pain all on certain parts of his body. Unwilling to lose hope he met a specialist with a help from an old friend...</p><p align="justify">The result disappoint him the most. He suffered from an excessive usage of his body. It's matter of time for him... For weeks he thought and live in recluse from his friends accompanied by his love one. It's so ironic for him when he chase his own dreams he neglected 'something' precious in his life. There is nothing to regret for him as he has done anything he could do in his life except having a normal life just like ordinary people.</p><p align="justify">Few months later he decided to call it a day. He passed down his business and all his properties to a trusted friend of his and leave. He left behind most of it so that he wouldn't bother more about it. He wants to walk around like a normal person without anyone drive him along, he wants to eat what normal people eat, he want to feel how normal person faces their problem in everyday life and enjoying the beauty of life with his own fragile life... he ensure that nothing left unfinished and he able to return home without anyone knows that he is leaving. </p><p align="justify">Arriving to his hometown, he starts to appreciates how great it's to be a normal person. No matter how hard it's, how painful the life offered to him and how small he is when facing those who is influential and powerful as he was before, and proud with their status, he is thankful with the time given he is able to do what he wished and missed the most; his family and friends. At least, this is what he can do...</p><p align="justify">To be continued...</p><p align="justify"></p>kaiserstanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13709030854903172746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-56559474209032627522009-08-08T00:14:00.001+08:002009-08-08T00:57:42.854+08:00Quotes of the day...To the greats who are amongst us bravely and humbly proved that leadership is a choice not a position.<br /><br />Stephen R. CoveyBudak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-81364624199414178342009-08-07T23:43:00.000+08:002009-08-07T23:46:02.527+08:00How are you?The scenes from the past...<br /><br />B : Hi, whatcha doing there?<br /><br />G : Morning, I'm preparing something to eat. <br /><br />B : Sounds delicious! Can't wait to have a taste.<br /><br />G : Hopefully. Where have you been this morning? <br /><br />B : Wandering around. Just can't stand hearing you 'singing'(snoring) in the morning. Hehe..<br /><br />G : Hey, wasn't it you who 'sing' all night?<br /><br />B : Nah, that wouldn't be me. You can asked our neighbor. Hey wasn't he the one who taught you? I heard he 'sing' exactly like you. <br /><br />G : Yeah right. And he taught me how make an airplane.<br /><br />B : I believe that would be me. You probably don't remember because you're too busy 'singing'.Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-33514884050214255882009-08-07T23:38:00.001+08:002009-08-08T00:07:22.877+08:00No more secret?<div style="text-align: justify;">That title is crystal clear to all of you who read it. "Secret is m life" is one of my favourite quotes from Prestige movie starred by <a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0413168/" title="Hugh Jackman" rel="imdb">Hugh Jackman</a>. That explains how deep that quotes means to me. Along my journey I stumble upon various secret and it's such a burden to me as the guilts of keeping it from others. It had chained me since I was able to keep it from others and I'll not explains it here. Have you ever thought of reveal all the secrets that you had kept in unbreakable vault of yours? Not even single person nor your family knows it? There are times when you want to tell someone your heart told you not to. It's the guilts that had haunted me all this time. I don't want to die keeping others own secret but I hold myself from telling others. I'm a symbollic person, I do things with reasons not just luck or coincidence. I had kept myself away from those who seek for it and what reliefs me the most is nobody know where and who kept it. That makes things easy for me.<br /><br />It's fun when it's still a secret because it's no longer a secret once somebody knows about it. Not even a death threat can makes me to spill it out because once it's a secret it's always will be a secret. Recently I had deep thought to myself, there are things which not to be hold for a certain time as I don't have much time......................<br /><br />I want to enjoy my life without bothering myself about the secret because it would attracts a lot of unwanted interest from others. So I decided it's about time to pass it to someone whom I believe would holds it and he would do what he should do with it. I don't want to have any relation with it anymore.<br /><br />Have you ever kept a secret and bow not to reveal it? The secret among all the secret you believe the most unknown to others. Even one that have potential to cause liabilities to you and others around you?<br /></div> <div style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;" class="zemanta-pixie"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/14960023-d8ff-421f-80be-97557fe6d6e8/" title="Reblog this post [with Zemanta]"><img style="border: medium none ; float: right;" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=14960023-d8ff-421f-80be-97557fe6d6e8" alt="Reblog this post [with Zemanta]" /></a><span class="zem-script more-related pretty-attribution"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://static.zemanta.com/readside/loader.js" defer="defer"></script></span></div>Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-91472382380230123382009-08-07T23:36:00.001+08:002009-08-07T23:36:38.759+08:00Some facts about kaiserstan?Accident<br /><br />I have a scar on my forehead due to motorcycle accident when I was a little kid.<br /><br />Minor car accident with a lorry in peninsular.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Places<br /><br />I've never been to Terengganu, Kelantan, Melaka, Pahang, Johor and Sabah. Elsewhere is my seconds home.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Dream<br /><br />Hiking to the top of Mount Kinabalu, going to England watching my favourite team Manchester United at Old Trafford playing against their rivals and have someone to share it with.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Weight?<br /><br />Skinny 56kg dude until matriculation days.<br /><br />Raised the mass to 78kg till 2009. (I love the foods at peninsular and I just can't stop loving it)<br /><br />Now I'm about 60kg and it's keeping on declining. (Forget all the tasty foods; I need to lengthen my lifespan)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Foods...<br /><br />I love muffin!<br /><br />I eat anything till 2008.<br /><br />Now, almost a vegetarian with a little bit of Omega 3 in my menu. Sometime I just eat anything.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Phisical...<br /><br />Small and short kid during primary till secondary school.<br /><br />Now, I never thought I was that small back then.<br /><br />I have a flexible body probably bones.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sleep?<br /><br />I only sleep at night.<br /><br />During matriculation days it was 7 hours. (I become a zombie if I slept less than that )<br /><br />During university days it was 6 hours. (I'll throw up early in the morning if I slept less than that)<br /><br />When I was working it was around 5 hours. (Less than that, I'm still working because I love MONEY hehe )<br /><br />Now it is around 3 hours and sometime lesser than that. (Nothing happens to me, it just feels like 7 hours to me, to conclude it, 7 hours of sleep equals 2 days of non-stop sleep to me)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Near death experiences?<br /><br />3 times and I never afraid of it. ( Two of it was in peninsular)<br /><br />One was when I take illegal cab driven by a drunken-swearing policeman. I managed to persuade him to accept RM2 for the fare instead of RM5.<br /><br />Almost drown to death while trying to save my younger brother during picnic. Sadly, I'm don't know how to swim. Thankfully my father and uncle saved both of us.<br /><br />Rain almost killed me when I was in Cheras for two days and I forgot to bring my medicine. My wills to survive gave me the strength to go to the nearby store which is located 2km away from my home.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hobbies?<br /><br />Collecting watches, plain color without pattern caps, computer parts, cool software, petting creatures, collecting Nike shoes, collecting funny videos, downloading movies, fishing, eating muffins!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Things I do when I'm free...<br /><br />Eating muffins, hanging out with old friends, tennis, futsal / street soccer, basketball (my favourite's), surfing on web, killing viruses and spywares (sometime play with it), making videos using movie maker, looking for answer and general knowledge, preparing daily lesson plan, bowling, writing this blog for you to read and writing reports on my official duty diary.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The real me...<br /><br />Realist idealist, enthusiastic, holds on Machiavelli's principles, dynamic, serious when it comes to work, help others in need ( I understand how hard it was when I'm in trouble without anyone to offer helping hands; I learnt to solve it by myself ) and love to cheer people while annoying them...<br /><br />My AURA changes the people and most of them live a good life.<br /><br />AURA is the acronym of my name.<br /><br />High endurance and patient while facing heavy pressure. ( I would end up in mental facilities by now if I don't )<br /><br />Obsessed with numbers and MONEY!<br /><br />I'm Kaiser and I'm Stan and we're the same.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My Work...<br /><br />Details but simple. (I can make 10 pages assignment into 5 pages I just hate making craps in my works only the relevant)<br /><br />Never say no until it's done.<br /><br />I love any works I do because I love the MONEY<br />I got from it...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The mystery of kaiserstan...<br /><br />I know how old I'm and there're only 10 persons who really knows my real age actually. (Time do ticks fast)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My specialties...<br /><br />Want me to fix your computer?<br /><br />Do you have problems? Let me kills it.<br /><br />Creating wild conspiracy theories.<br /><br />Sabotage for some purpose.<br /><br />Creating scenes to save others.<br /><br />Safe guard the secrets and probably die of keeping it.<br /><br />I can learn anything quickly in a short time. Teach me and I can do the same within the time given.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My Completed Mission<br /><br />Saving the company from complacency.<br /><br />Getting RM10k in an almost impossible task for the company.<br /><br />Standby to be the black sheep to save the boss.<br /><br />Assignments?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Embarrassing moments...<br /><br />When I missed the flight from Alor Setar to KL. Actually I arrived at the airport 2 hours before departure. I missed the flight because I got carried away talking to someone (which I don't know) who sent his daughter to the airport. My over-friendly approach cost me another ticket and a night stay at the airport. The next day I took an early flight and a week later got a call and my last salary negotiation for my job at Kajang was accepted.<br /><br />Sent the wrong text message to someone else. (Thankfully they don't know the details of it)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My Business...<br /><br />Ah Long (Loan Shark) since secondary school.<br /><br />Football gambler until 2000. ( I'm so good that I won so many bets)<br /><br />Freelancer for hired.<br /><br />Import export. (Peninsular)<br /><br />My properties. (Peninsular)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Crazy thing I do...<br /><br />Starting the frenzy Merdeka Celebration 2001 at Kolej Chermai Jaya by throwing a plastic full of water outside which causing the police patrolling near the college.<br /><br />Joining the story telling contest at the institute without any preparation. I performed it spontaneously without any script prepared.<br /><br />Driving the car without stepping on the brake while turning through the curve downhill. It's not a drift though.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My resolute...<br /><br />I never regret the decisions made and never look back, I just move on.<br /><br />I keep on fighting!!Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870149938873137214.post-13588686037798320652009-08-07T23:28:00.000+08:002009-08-07T23:33:26.582+08:00Love ?Part 3 TrilogyAfter a while thinking about the continuation of the boy and his so-called life adventure… This is the continuation of the Love? Trilogy and hopefully it will come to an end. 3 years (again) after leaving his love behind (he has to) to start a new life, the boy served the state government at his homeland and the story started here in his life’s diary. This is not a spoiler but the rest of the story and hopefully the “?” will never present on this chapter again anymore. This is one of the most difficult stories to be told.<br /><br /><br />Life is full of hopes and commitments (as usual) for the boy at his homeland, it seems that he had forgot the past which burden him all this time. There was an attempt made by him to get things right when he flew back sometime to peninsular to search for the girl. Sadly, his search was in vain, he was told that the girl has move back to her homeland and quit the jobs few months recently. His feeling was mixed with disappointment and relief, between regretted and released from the guilt that binds him more than 2 years ago. Should he met the girl again and she forgive the boy for his mistakes, probably the boy decided to stay with her like before no matter what the consequences might came from that decisions. His old employer still insists him to work for the company if the boy decided to stay at peninsular with promising salary which can drive him to stay. Probably God has HIS plans for the boy. Money is nothing compare to what he loved the most.<br /><br /><br />Returned from his so-called vacation (peninsular), the boy continues to serve his homeland and hopes to build a new life to achieve his dream. This is where the story begins.<br /><br /><br />It all started when the boy met a girl while paying his streamyx bill at the telekom. She seems to have problems (confused) with the amount needed to pay for the bill (statement) and asked the boy (since there’s nobody around). Coincidently, the boy had worked as an internet provider installer before and familiar with it, able to help the girl and explains why she has to pay such amount enthusiastically. Started from simple conversation which leads to frequent texting (sms) and meets up at the town (date as a friend). Both of them have different about their place to eat, favorite foods, sports, books, movies, music and their passion. These differences are the chemistry that bonds both of them. They exchange ideas about it and experience other’s own view. They exchange books, favorite place to eat between themselves just to have a new view; listen to each other owns favorite mp3, the boy even tried tennis a sport which is quite awkward for him and the so on... One thing in common, they share the same dream “live their life to the fullest as someone who change others e.g. teacher”<br /><br /><br />Then one day, the girl surprises the boy when she bravely told the boy about her feeling towards the boy. The boy was shocked and hesitated (because he just want her to be his friend) and afraid that things might not going well like his past relationships (even though they tolerate to each other differences) but when he dive deep inside his heart to search for an answer whether he has feeling towards her. Indeed, she is... and he accepted her as his………………….. (Fill in the intentionally blanked dot).<br /><br /><br />Since then, life was so cheerful and interesting for the boy. Day by day the boy opened a bit of the space in his heart for her to paint his heart. They spend much of their time together and talked about anything they could possibly think of. They exchanged present and chocolate (and muffin also) during their birthday. Those days were full of blessing. She is probably the best gift he ever received who was like a little boy who received gift from GOD during his birthday. Normally in a relationship there is always conflicts and misunderstanding since they have different background and view, sometime even quarrel about small matters (never last long) but that didn’t affect their feeling toward each other. Both of them tolerated to each other despite the differences. When problems rise between them, they faced it and solved it together and the boy lost for words when the girl always there for him in time of need. He learned a lot from the girl.<br /><br /><br />When the KPLI application for January 2009 intake opened, both of them applied it together (the girl also a graduate) in hopes that they can be a teacher someday and live their life together as teachers. Unfortunately, things didn’t go their way. Like a gift from GOD that’s always full of the unexpected. Two separate news received by both of them with the bad and the good news. The good news is the boy successfully passed his interview and offered to join KPLI at teacher educational institute meanwhile the girl, didn’t. She was so disappointed since she applied it more than 4 times. The boy tried to comfort the girl that there would be another intake next year and asked her not to give up hopes. During the last week before the boy departs to the institute, the boy never thought that it was so hard for him to live without seeing her even for a moments. He decided to spend the rest of the week with her rather than at home and wished that time would just stop for both of them...<br /><br /><br />During the management week at the institute the boy missed the girl so much that he gives her a call every night until one day, (last day before Chinese New Year one week break) when she tried to call him during the activity which is odd since the boy had told her not to call during that period because he might be busy with the activities held by the institute. He usually left his handphone in silent mode during the activity. The boy noticed frequents missed call on his handphone after the activity finished late night, the boy tried to call back only to be answered by her voicemail. The next day the boy was so happy that he’ll met the girl at his hometown. One thing that worried him since yesterday; he keeps on getting the voicemail whenever he tried to call the girl which is unusual to him. Arrived at his hometown, the boy tried to look for the girl around the town where they always spend their day... but she wasn’t there. He went to the girl’s house to see whether she was at home. Once again he was disappointed when he found out that there was nobody around. A week had past, there is still no news from the girl... the boy had to pack all his belonging before departing to the institute a day before. He packed it with a heavy reluctant heart. As if there is no reason for him to return to the institute...He was in despair...<br /><br /><br />Finally, the day has come for him to return back to the institute. His father sent him to the wharf. When he enters the express boat’s door, he met his old classmate since primary school inside. Coincidently, he was the girl’s cousin. The boy asked about the girl and he said: “Yes I know about that. Her family had moved to _________. His father was transferred there for a multi-national company.” The boy’s heart sank when he heard that news. “She tried to call you that night to tell you about it, unfortunately the next day she lost her handphone at the town.” No wonder the boy thought to himself...but...why now?<br /><br /><br />Few weeks later at the institute, the boy received a long text message on his handphone from an foreign unknown number... it say:<br /><br />“It’s such a heavy heart for me to part from you ...but I had to follow dad and mom to (oversea)...for your information dad got promoted into Senior Operation Executive but he’ll be here for a long term. I don’t know when we’ll meet again... That night I tried to tell you but you didn’t answer it until I realized my hp ran out of battery, sorry I forgot to replace it with the new one... but I know that you’re busy with the orientation thingy. The next day my hp was lost, I don’t know where I misplaced it after having my breakfast with mom...<br /><br />I can’t see that whether we can continue this relationship anymore... I know that it’s difficult for me to make this decision... You’re right we should be friend in the first place...<br /><br />Sorry, it was me who started to fall in love with you and asked you accept me. Even hesitated, you accepted me into your life and give me the chances to know the real you. I know it’s hard for you to accept it even for me. Thank you for accepting me as a special person in your heart. Hope that you’ll meet a better person and become a good teacher. Nice person always get a happy ending and never gave up, just like you always said... I’ll always remember that budak baik”<br /><br />Calmly, the boy answered it in short message:<br /><br />“Thank you for painting my heart. I’ll be okay don’t worry. Take care and never give up though gonna’ miss you.”<br /><br />That was the last sms he ever sent to her. Probably the boy accepted the facts that there is something in life that comes and goes whether we realized it or not because it’s only a matter of time for us to admit it and the boy accepts that luck is not in his side once more, life has to move on for the boy and he has to learn how to play tennis next semester break. Somehow he even questions himself whether he deserves all this because of his past... time is running out for the boy as he counts... Anyway I don’t really like to tell a sad ending... that’s all for now.<br /><br /><br />Spoiler:<br /><br />· OST for this story is Tak Bisakah by Peterpan<br /><br />· Meanwhile for part 2 is Unintended by Muse<br /><br />· The girl in part 3 is referred as “the one who challenge” in the lyric at the Unintended song.Budak Baikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01753096230877044470noreply@blogger.com3